fuzzykittenhead
New Member
After being subjected to mustard gas and assaulted with pepper spray, the man was a seasoned veteran.
Needs more puns.
- Thread starter fuzzykittenhead
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fuzzykittenhead
New Member
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
57thRomance
Member
I accidentally killed my teammate Carnage in a PUB. He called me a "Bad Romance." -__-
Metreon
Member
Once there was a marine biologist who loved dolphins. He spent his time trying to feed and protect his beloved creatures of the sea. One day, in a fit of inventive genius, he came up with a serum that would make dolphins live forever!
Of course he was ecstatic. But he soon realized that in order to mass- produce this serum he would need large amounts of a certain compound that was only found in nature in the metabolism of a rare South American bird. Carried away by his love for dolphins, he resolved that he would go to the zoo and steal one of these birds.
Unbeknownst to him, as he was arriving at the zoo an elderly lion was escaping from its cage. The zookeepers were alarmed and immediately began combing the zoo for the escaped animal, unaware that it had simply lain down on the sidewalk and had gone to sleep.
Meanwhile, the marine biologist arrived at the zoo and procured his bird. He was so excited by the prospect of helping his dolphins that he absentmindedly stepped over the sleeping lion on his way back to his car. Immediately, 1500 policemen converged on him and arrested him for transporting a myna across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.
Of course he was ecstatic. But he soon realized that in order to mass- produce this serum he would need large amounts of a certain compound that was only found in nature in the metabolism of a rare South American bird. Carried away by his love for dolphins, he resolved that he would go to the zoo and steal one of these birds.
Unbeknownst to him, as he was arriving at the zoo an elderly lion was escaping from its cage. The zookeepers were alarmed and immediately began combing the zoo for the escaped animal, unaware that it had simply lain down on the sidewalk and had gone to sleep.
Meanwhile, the marine biologist arrived at the zoo and procured his bird. He was so excited by the prospect of helping his dolphins that he absentmindedly stepped over the sleeping lion on his way back to his car. Immediately, 1500 policemen converged on him and arrested him for transporting a myna across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.
MJ1284
Member
Female police officer is arresting a man charged of drunk driving.
Officer: "You have right to remain silent, everything you say will be held against you"
*Drunk man stays silent for a moment*
Drunk man: "Your boobs"
I know, it's juvenile joke.. but damn did I giggle my ass off when I heard that first time
Officer: "You have right to remain silent, everything you say will be held against you"
*Drunk man stays silent for a moment*
Drunk man: "Your boobs"
I know, it's juvenile joke.. but damn did I giggle my ass off when I heard that first time
Arch
Legions Developer
Like this one.
Omg, that one is great.Female police officer is arresting a man charged of drunk driving.
Officer: "You have right to remain silent, everything you say will be held against you"
*Drunk man stays silent for a moment*
Drunk man: "Your boobs"
I know, it's juvenile joke.. but damn did I giggle my ass off when I heard that first time
57thRomance
Member
Here's a classic I like to pull out once in a while:
A Panda bear (We'll call him Wootyou) walks into a restaurant. He sits down, orders his food, eats it, and waits for his bill. When the waitress arrives, Wootyou pulls out his pistol, shoots the waitress, and calmly leaves the restaurant without paying the bill.
A man, about to walk into the restaurant, observes all of this through the windows and pulls Wootyou aside when he leaves. The man exclaims, "What's the matter with you?! You can't just eat your food, kill the waitress, and leave without paying! You're insane!"
Wootyou replies, "Hey, I'm a panda. P-A-N-D-A. Look that up in the dictionary."
The man grabs a dictionary and finds the definition of a panda: "panda - a black and white bear that eats shoots and leaves."
A Panda bear (We'll call him Wootyou) walks into a restaurant. He sits down, orders his food, eats it, and waits for his bill. When the waitress arrives, Wootyou pulls out his pistol, shoots the waitress, and calmly leaves the restaurant without paying the bill.
A man, about to walk into the restaurant, observes all of this through the windows and pulls Wootyou aside when he leaves. The man exclaims, "What's the matter with you?! You can't just eat your food, kill the waitress, and leave without paying! You're insane!"
Wootyou replies, "Hey, I'm a panda. P-A-N-D-A. Look that up in the dictionary."
The man grabs a dictionary and finds the definition of a panda: "panda - a black and white bear that eats shoots and leaves."
MJ1284
Member
Gheist
King of all Goblins
[2009-10-03 23:18:00] <MadHank> Is there a small active clan with good leadership that I can join without fear that it will be inactive
[2009-10-03 23:18:39] <@Gheist> you could try the horsehiders
[2009-10-03 23:18:42] <@Gheist> pretty stable
[2009-10-03 23:18:49] <@Gheist> have been around since ell1
[2009-10-03 23:18:50] <+Shanks|sushi> iseewhatyoudidthere
