dun car alredi sed b4
Hey it's how I would describe .fi!
BURNT TO CRISPS
The Ministry said:
The Ministry began not to long ago in a place not very far away. Some say it was deep in the Jungles of Congo where Bugs, our glorious and benevolent leader, was attempting to find a cure for malaria. His researched included the consumption of many different hallucinogenic substances, and while he was able to rule out a large number of them as a potential cure, he did not discover one for the deadly disease that has plagued humanity since we lit up earth like a Christmas tree and turned it into radioactive slag.
It was there, on that hot Jungle planet, which the fathers of the Ministry gathered for the fist time.
Shanks, who driven from his home both from his flaming red hair and ‘boning all the womenfolk’, was the first to join the cause.
Munge, the great inventor, under unknown and mysterious circumstances that are best left known to Falg and the Tribal Mafia.
Bravo, a magician of little fame but big heart who had a surprising amount of knowledge in guerrilla warfare for a person who had previous pulled rabbits out of hats.
Neolight, a skilled artist and entrepreneur, who was trying to bestow his latest creation upon the native population, oil of snake, at the time.
Yami, whose mysterious ways even mystify the minters of the ministry who are themselves mysterious.
Some other guy. I don’t know his name and its embarrassing because we’ve been together for so long. I just call him mate and nobody notices.
I’m not sure where I come into the picture. I arrived on Congo during my pilgrimage as a young acolyte spreading the word of Falg. All I know is that one day I woke up in a ditch missing my pants. I consulted holy falg for guidance, who responded in the form of a pigeon that was flying northwest so I followed.
It lead me into the swamps where I got malaria.
Bugs found me there, he took me under his care, and I had many strange visions while recovering. I saw many stange things, but there was one vision that stuck with me…
An eagle flying above a mountain with a robot snake clutched between its talons, getting sucked into a jet engine. It was a message from Falg that proclaimed to me that we where going to *dance* up some serious *chocolate cookies*.
And *dance* up some serious *chocolate cookies* we did.
We drank a lot. We plundered things. We roved the heavens. We did things. We kicked arse, we took names, and we burned all who opposed us. We had hangovers. We had parties. We had more drinking. We did other stuff. We turned the planet Congo into dust because it was a malaria filled *chocolate cookie* hole, then did the same to another planet that was one big Quarry under similar logic. We established ourselves as the supreme rulers of everyone left in the crumbling empire. We drank some more.
The Ministry sees all.
The Ministry knows all.
The Ministry is coming for you.
